Monday, February 2, 2009

Bad Memory

I have been here for about half year . It's a little bit difficult for me to live right now. I miss my country so much. The most thing i didn't like is you can't go anywhere if you don't know how to drive.The bus services are not very busy. It cost you much time for waiting a bus.I have to learn how to drive so.

When i pass my writing exam, i asked my husband to teach me how to drive. My husband drove me to a abandoned parking lot. At first, i am very exciting about it . First, i have to learn about the gesture, sitting,and turn up the rearview mirror.After that, i began to drive. After few round, i felt great,then begin to pick up speed. When i turn to the corner, maybe i was going so fast, i can't control the car very well. "Boom", well, you can image what happend. Oh, my god! The bumper of the car was totally crashed.My husband's face turn black suddenly and said:"Why didn't you step on the brake?""I was so scare, i didn't know how to do ,so....""Go back home now!"

Since then, i was afraid to turn. Before i was going to turn, i would stop. What a bad memory of me. How can i get the driving licence in the future? I hope i can foget this soon. Oh,Please!
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5 comments:

  1. pirata333February 6, 2009 at 8:57 PM

    CONTENT
    It's difficult to understand what are you trying to explain.

    COHESIVENESS
    I think it doesn't have a good connection. Your structure makes it hard to follow.

    GRAMMAR
    Review your verb tenses. Look at the conjugation of the third singular person. I by itself is always with a capital letter.

    ReplyDelete
  2. SAMFebruary 7, 2009 at 12:17 PM

    This comment has been removed by the author.

    ReplyDelete
  3. SAMFebruary 7, 2009 at 12:20 PM

    CONTENT:
    - It's hard for me to get your idea.
    - I think your introduction don't have a thesis statement.
    - What did you mean of "The most thing i didn't like is you can't go anywhere"???

    COHESIVENESS:
    - Generally, It's difficult to fellow.
    - It's so hard to find connection between 2nd paragrahg and 3rd paragrahg.

    Grammar and Vocaburely:
    - I think you should revise that"The most thing i didn't like is you can't go anywhere".

    thank you for your post.

    ReplyDelete
  4. monkey4cecFebruary 8, 2009 at 11:03 PM

    COHESIVENESS
    When i tried to read your story,i had a really hard time following it.

    CONTENT
    You may have the basic content .i don’t know.However,the problems with structure,grammar,and spelling make it hard to know. i read it a few times,but i’m still not sure.

    GRAMMAR, VOCABULARY, & “MECHANICS”
    •Use consistent tense.
    •Capitalize “i."
    •Put a space between sentences.
    •Don’t put spaces before periods or commas.
    •Use the spell check.

    ReplyDelete
  5. SukiFebruary 10, 2009 at 3:43 PM

    Oh, really? I think i want to rewrite then.

    ReplyDelete

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